The Obstacle of Self Care
Taking care of oneself in a healthy manner can be very difficult, especially for women. We are the caregivers and nuturers – the ones watching out for the needs of others. We pour into the lives of our children, family and others, offering ourselves freely and without reservation.
After years of such selfless love, we may discover ourselves to be exhausted and worn out. In the midst of all this, we may not recognize the need to care for our own self – in order to be able to continue loving and giving. We may say that the demands are too great, the to-do list too long, leaving no time and energy for proper exercise, eating, rest and sleeping. Responsibilities override wisdom and we continue pushing on.
Eventually there is a negative payoff with health and emotional issues. And unfortunately, recovery may be a long process.
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others. ” Phil 2:4
This verse has been quoted, pointing out the principle that Christians are to care for the interests and needs of other people, putting other people first. Unfortunately, this can be extreme and often at your own expense if you believe you are to be put last in the list. Please notice the words not only and also – indicating it IS important to take care of your needs, as well! You are to be a steward of your own health, not ignoring it to only take care of others.
The Obstacle of Permission
One strong problem I have discovered in my own life is the lack of permission I give myself to take necessary steps for change. “I could NEVER do that!” I find myself thinking. To give permission means to authorize or give approval to an idea and action. It often requires thinking outside the box.
Why is it so difficult to give myself permission to make the hard choices necessary to be healthier? Here are some of my hindrances:
- Overly responsible FOR other people: I am recognizing this as a form of codependency – feeling too responsible for caring for and solving the problems of others. There is a difference between being responsible TO others and being responsible FOR others. Unless the person is your child or someone in your direct health care, then you are responsible to care and support them but you are not responsible for their stuff. Be careful of enabling and rescuing.
- Overly HIGH expectations of myself to be a Godly, good person: I expect myself to be super human at times. “A godly woman should always be patient and loving. I should be able to do this, I have Jesus in me.” Remember that shoulds indicate a religious spirit; shoulds kill by zapping the life right out of you.
Without boldly choosing to give yourself permission, you will never take the steps needed to regain health emotionally or physically. Everything in you may be in conflict and confusion, but permission is a key ingredient. I recently gave myself permission in a step of desperate self care, but it was an emotional battle all the way. Gosh, it was so hard, but I did it!
Give Yourself Permission!
Is there something you need to give yourself permission to do, a step to take for increasing your health?? Does it seem an impossible choice? Brainstorm with a trusted friend, counselor or family member and see what options you truly have and pray about which step to take to become healthier in body, soul or spirit.
If you would like help in this topic, I especially enjoy meeting with individuals, coaching them to move forward in taking steps of health! Contact me through the contact heading of this website for personal coaching through Skype or in person. I’d love to help!
Tune the Temple is a ministry of self-care and weight loss.